Week 20

I’ve been going through an emotional rollercoaster the past few months. I’m not alone; this is a ride that the entire world has been on while trying not to heave at all the insane twists and turns. Knowing that Christ is coming soon should provide a sense of relief but not negate what I am going through in the present. And for this emotional turmoil, I also am not alone, for God, Himself struggled with the present-future notion. Let me explain…

When God spoke this world into existence (Gen. 1:3, John 1:1-3), He created a covenant (Is. 42:6, Rev. 13:8,) within the family of God (Deut. 6:4, Mark 12:29) to provide a way of escape (1 Cor. 10:13, Heb. 4:15) for humanity (Gen 3, Rev. 13:8), by giving Himself (Gen. 22:7) for us (John 3:16; Gal. 2:20).

But all of God’s foreknowledge: I declare the end from the beginning and ancient times from what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and all My good pleasure I will accomplish.’ Isaiah 46:10 BSB, He still suffered in the moment, and wanted to end His suffering: And He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, where He knelt down and prayed, “Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done.” Luke 22:41-42 BSB.

Yet, He went through with it because of the covenant made was from the foundations of the world (Rev. 13:8) before time began, so it was an everlasting covenant. God would rather die than break it. And I think of this world and all the problems that it has, even though I know that it will all end soon, the surety of the future does not negate the present’s reality.

So, the fact that I know the scriptures are clear that I will get a new body (1 Cor. 15:54) does not eliminate the mourning that I have for my present body. I am in my late 30s and have recently been diagnosed with male pattern alopecia. The thinning of my hair has been going on for years. I’ve cut my hair to try and hide it, and I can hide it no longer. So a few days ago, I just butchered it all up. It looks terrible!

Finally, I went to a doctor’s appointment, where I was diagnosed. I’ll be getting some blood work and tests done to see what is causing this issue (among others, that I’m not ready to share with the world…yet, if ever). BUT before I wallow in a sea of my own self-pity and the death of my follicle dreams (I’ve always wanted a full head of hair), I hear God whisper to me in the present to carry my to the future: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor. 12:9 NIV.

His grace is sufficient for me. That Greek word for sufficient is Arkei: to be possessed of unfailing strength (BlueLetterBible.org). So while I may be weak and crying of my lack of failed femininity, Jesus is telling me that His grace possesses unfailing strength. And so, if His grace is an ocean, I will gladly sink into it so that I may be immersed in His strength, come up again, and float in the sea of His love.

Week 19

I do not dare answer once and for all the question “Does size matter?” Nor place a definitive response to “Nature vs. Nurture.” What I do know, I will share with you. I have over three dozen plants raging in all sizes. Since I live in a city and cannot have a proper garden, I have surrounded myself with potted plants, contained rose shrubs, and even portable citrus trees. Of the plants that I have fostered, three of them are identical. Well, in name, at least. They are my Peace, Lilies. And just as Goldilocks and the three bears, they come in the following sizes: small, medium, and large. These three identical in the plant genome, yet individual in growth, have taught me that size may not matter as much as you think. And that nurture may have a bigger impact than nature after all.

The largest of my three Peace Lily stands beautiful and tall in my room. When I began my plant journey, I asked which plant would be suitable for inside. I wanted a plant in my bedroom. The fact that they clean up the oxygen that I breathe in was a huge motivator. Also, I wanted something alive in my presence. The plant that was recommended to me was the Peace Lily. Another hard and fast sell was the low maintenance aspect of the plant. I have been known to be an accomplice of multiple plant deaths.

I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I could not be charged with being a green thumb. Peace Lily’s let you know when they are thirsty. I witnessed it myself, and the plant drooped as if it had lost its’ best friend. Its beautiful emerald green leaves just sagged to their lowest possible depth. I understood their request and quenched their thirst. Within a matter of hours, the plant receiving that refreshing stream of life apparent, the Lily was raising its leaves to the sky (well, ceiling anyway).

So I enjoyed my time with this plant that I ended up purchasing two more of the same plant. I placed one in my office and one outside. All three are beautiful in their own right. However, they are not all growing at the same level. You see, the giant one in my room sees no sun. Only the dim light from my lamp provides the light that it receives.

The next size up is medium and lovely. This one receives moderate sunlight because it sits by a window at my desk. I was excited the other day because I could see little white bulbs being formed in it. My large room Peace Lily had only green leaves. This medium-sized plant with moderate exposure to sunlight formed the bulbs that would blossom into beautiful cylindrical-shaped flowers.

Imagine my surprise when I was watering the plants on my porch, and there, no more than 3 inches of the plant, was the smallest Peace Lilly with a fully bloomed flower. This tiny one receives the most sunlight. It is direct, and it lives outside, not isolated from other plants.

I was delighted. But then I stopped to think that not only was it the smallest, but it was the youngest. It received the same amount of water as the other plants did for its’ size. Yet it was lightyears ahead of its’ elders. The only difference was that this plant had direct access to the sun.

When God called the nation of Israel out of slavery from Egypt and into a relationship based on love and freedom, He told them: It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples,” Deuteronomy 7:7. It was the love of God, and the scripture states that He is the Sun of Righteousness (Malachi 4:2) that caused the least or the smallest nation to become one of the amazingly blessed and honored people in the entire universe.

It was not their size that mattered, but their exposure to the “Sun.” So, take a look at your life and where you are situated. How much sunlight are you being exposed to, and what can you do to not just survive but bask and thrive in His presence?

Week 18

During my sporadic morning devotional time, I realized that I was allowing other thoughts, ideas, and plans for the day to crowd my time with God. So I sat down and pulled out my Bible to go over today’s reading. I’ve been on this 90-day journey with a group of really awesome people that I don’t even know. The 90-day challenge is called #DAwithDA on social media. Today’s reading is based on John 13:31-38; 14:1-17. I couldn’t get past the first few verses without realizing the impact that the words of Christ must have had on those men who loved Him.

So John chapter 13 and 14 happened hours before Jesus is arrested (I KNOW! SOUNDS CRAZY) and dragged around town, being judged by human greed and wickedness. Hours before, He is stripped and hung up to die like a vile criminal. Hours before, He hung His head and said, “It is finished.”

But before His work on this earth in that specific capacity was completed, He had to explain to a group of ordinary men, who would sound be charged with the most extraordinary message, some crucial information. This happens right after the one who went to betray Jesus had left the Upper Room.

Now Christ had been rid of the betrayer; He still had a bunch of deserters in His midst. But that did not stop or retard His love for them. In fact, He tells them, “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” John 13:34.

This verse’s statement is so poignant due to the situation that it is sandwiched between. You see, we mentioned that one had just left Christ’s presence to betray Him to be murdered, and what comes after He gives the “new” commandment is just as painful. Jesus had just told the disciples that where He currently was heading, that at the present moment, they could not follow Him. Then one spoke up and declared that he would rather die than be separated from his Master.

Jesus says these sorrowful words: Jesus answered, “Die for Me? I tell you the truth, Peter – before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know Me.” John 13:38 NLT. In between a betrayal and denial, Christ said to love one another as He loves us.

I don’t know if I could have done that? Knowing that I was about to die for someone else’s wrongdoings and that they would betray and deny knowing me? Yet Jesus said that this is the ONLY way that people will know that we belong to Him when we love as He loves.

When Peter said that he would rather die than leave Jesus, he meant it. With his whole heart and mind, he meant every single word. But his character was weak and deformed. Our character forms the foundation of who we are. Our words are very important, but unfortunately, if we do not have the firm foundation of our character to support our words, we are made out as liars.

For character is the foundation, words, the frame, and building blocks. Our personality furnishes our home or heart. For does not the saying go: home is where the heart is?

Today’s devotion caused me to wonder, “Is my character weak? Can my words be trusted? Will the weight of my words be held up by the type of person that I am and not just claim to be?” I’ve heard people say, “My word is my bond.” But if your bond is more like silly putty than super glue?

The ONLY One who we can trust without fail is “Thus saith the Lord.” Because He never lied, He never fails, He always is faithful. And believe it or not, He wants to strengthen our character by infusing His in ours. He will be our true foundation. The word of God calls Him the “cornerstone” that the builders rejected (Psalm 118:22). Meaning when the construction crews were building a structure, they tossed out the very stone that ended up being the ONE that supported their very structure. It wasn’t until they were stuck that they realized the one that they didn’t think was important ended up being the perfect piece of the foundation to hold up the building.

The disciples rejected Jesus when they fled from Him when they denied Him. But He stood there, waiting with arms open wide for them to realize that without Him, they have no solid foundation. You and I may have rejected Jesus a few times in our lives, with our choices and the way that we treat others. He wants to become our cornerstone. So that we could be a strong and stable structure.

The way He tells us that will happen is if we invite Him into our lives (Revelation 3:20) and love like He loves (John 13:34).

Week 17

This week, one of the top crime stories in the news in one of the biggest cities in the world came a little too close to home. Crime is on a fast rise to hell. Hearing that parents are murdering children and children killing parents, how are we supposed to grapple with that? I am worried that we all will come anesthetized to the type of horror we are being exposed to daily. How are we to love others when we’re barely getting by on the love we have for our families? The other day a teenager followed two men home, an elderly woman and her daughter. He waited during the night and broke into their home through a window and stabbed them to death. God, this world cannot be what You had in mind when You created it to be the dwelling place of humanity. The world is not my home.

Taking a look at the creation account in the book of Genesis, we see a darken mass of water. God then, with His mouth, forms it into a lighted spherical world. With beauty as far as the eye could see. He covered the world with His presence like a mother who wraps her newborn in her loving, protective arms. You might wonder where did I get this picture. I’m glad you asked. For if you were to open to the very first book of the Bible, on that first chapter in the second verse, you might read something like this “Now the earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.” Genesis 1:2 BSB.

That Hebrew word for “hovering” is the word rachapah, which means to “be soft, to be moved, after, specially with the feeling of tender love, hence to cherish…” (BlueletterBible.com). It’s findings like this that really gets me excited about the word of God. Because a God who hovers over a new creation with tender love, cherishing every nuance that this new planet being filled with life exhibits, can be trusted.

Just like a baby, when thrown in the air, laughs and giggles without fear because they know that the one who hovers over them will never let them fall. And this God who made this world intended for it to be absolutely perfect. We see that He speaks life and science into existence with all of creation, except one aspect of this newly formed inhabited world. When it comes to creating a companion, someone who would be a free moral agent, He did not follow the pattern of spoken word and then life created. No, He was silent, except to proclaim what Elohim was about to do.

Reading Genesis chapter 2, we see the God of all power and of all knowledge who had made it clear that His words have power, now stoop low into the dirt and begin to mold with His divine hand and fashion one who would be like Him.

Yes, God created a being to as close as God-like as possible. He said so “Let Us create man in Our image, after Our likeness…” Genesis 1:26. God was looking for companionship and friendship. And although Elohim already had a divinely beautiful relationship (see Proverbs 8), their love spilled over into a dark, watery mass and created the most abundantly breathtaking sight. So much so, the Bible states that the onlookers sang and shouted for joy when they witnessed the creation of our world (Job 38:7).

But now, the singing has turned into weeping, and the shouts of joy are mourns of sadness. This isn’t the world that God created, but it’s the world He’ll come back to in the end. Not to establish a kingdom here, heavens NO! But recreate this soon-to-be desolate sphere into a magnificent sight for the universe to see. All will witness what God can do with damaged, broken pieces.

But before He recreates this earth (Revelation 21:5), He wants to recreate in us a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26). He says: Behold, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming” Isaiah 43:19 BSB. Soon, He will come, and this world in which we now live will be no more. But in the meantime, for all those who live and occupy this globe with me, my heart beats for you. I pray that you will find the peace that passes all understanding and realize that home is where the heart is, and may your heart forever be with Him.

Week 16

The past few weeks, it has come to my attention that the dreams that I had as my younger self could quite possibly come true. Whenever we would have a career day at school during my elementary education, I was always stuck. I didn’t know how to explain what I wanted to be when I grew up. Everyone seemed to have a clue, except for me. One year, my mother threw her lab coat on me, placed a spare stethoscope around my neck, and sent me to school. Everyone thought that I was cool because I had the actual gear. But I thought of myself as a fraud. Because I could not express what I knew to be true.

For as long as I can remember, I had a business. When I was 9 years old, I ran a successful Lemonade and Mango stand in front of my yard. At the age of 12, I ran a successful babysitting business during the summer on my parent’s porch. There was something about working for myself that motivated me. I enjoyed providing a service that people needed. By the time I was finishing high school, I had decided that becoming a lawyer was the best route for me to major in political sciences at a state university. My mother promptly told me that “lawyers lie,” which was a quick route to hell. However, she had retained attorneys before.

The absolute dream was to be an author, which I was told was a great hobby, but I’d probably end up homeless because I wouldn’t make any money. That mantra “You can be anything you want to be” was never said to me when I was growing. Instead, I heard be a nurse or get a technical degree so that you will always have a job (Don’t get me wrong, my parents, especially my mother, is my biggest supporter in just about everything that I want to do. They were just concerned that a first-generation Haitian American female did not have the luxury to “figure out life” but fight to live. To their credit, they were mostly right). However, my desire was to help people by providing a service to them that could change their lives for the better. And the two things I found myself doing was, writing a lot and giving advice. And after 30 years of trying to figure out my true calling, God has allowed me to move forward and do what He created me to do. For: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 NLT.

A prophet is not primarily a “seer”; the Hebrew word used in this text is nabi and means a spokesman, speaker. God called me to speak on His behalf. To tell others of His incredible love and grace, of His mercy and lovingkindness, inviting them into a relationship with Him. And if the best way for me to get the message out was to write, I was called to be an author. Most prophets in the Bible had books that they wrote. And what if what I had to say meant sharing some spiritual discernment with others in the form of sound advice and encouragement? Then maybe I should be a Life Coach.

But God, I don’t have the means to get certified and to get my book (which you can check out here) circulated wide enough to make a significant impact. And then, during my personal Bible study this week, I ran into the name “El-Shaddai.” El, which is the word for powerful deity. Shaddai is unlimited resources. Another version says “God Almighty.” The Hebrew is El-Shaddai. God was showing me that He has all the help that I would ever need to fulfill the desire He placed in my heart: Delight yourself in the LORD [YAHWEH], and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 BSB.

So I will delight myself in the God of the covenant and rely solely on Him to make the desires that He placed in my heart when He formed me in my mother’s womb come to fruition.

I don’t know what desires you have had your whole life, but I know that if He placed it there, He’ll bring it to pass because He is God Almighty, El-Shaddai.

Week 12

Within a week we’ve had two major mass killing sprees in my country. I’ve seen one terrible news cycle after another. It’s like bad news is on a competition to see who will be the worst. This week I spoke to several friends who are struggling. Not only is the news on the outside terrible and horrific, the internal struggles are oppressing them too. One of them just lost her dog that she has had for 12 years. That adorable little puppy was her baby. She couldn’t rationalize the insane desire to want to ever love again. She said that she would rather just close herself off to anything or anyone else because everything dies.

I couldn’t disagree with her. Yes, everything does die. The reason being is that we live in a sinful, sin-filled world. The Bible does not mince words on this topic: For the wages of sin is death” Romans 6:23 KJV. Sin is the broken covenant on full display. The Bible puts it this way: Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness.” 1 John 3:4 NKJV.

What exactly is the law? Well I’m glad you asked: What is written in the Law?” Jesus replied. “How do you read it?” He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” “You have answered correctly,” Jesus said. “Do this and you will live.”…” Luke 10:26-28.

So the law is to love God and love our fellow human beings. Jesus said if we do those things we will live. But He wasn’t talking about just life on this planet. No, He was mostly talking about the BIG picture. Because let’s all be honest “LIFE ON THIS PLANET SUCKS!” Are there beautiful moments? Yes. Like when a parent hears their child’s laughter, or when the sun’s rays kisses your lashes, when the blush of first love begins to waken. All of those are beautiful moments that we cherish in our memories with everything that we have.

And life as we know it on this planet will not run forever, it can’t, not in the way we’re going. But forever was placed in our hearts by God (Ecclesiastes 3:11) to experience relational integrity for all time. It’s such an important factor that Jesus said that having a relationship with God IS eternity (John 17:3).

That means, right now in the midst of pain and sorrow, troubles and issues, that God wants to have a relationship with us. And God is gentle, kind, patient, sweet, hope-filled, just, compassionate, merciful (I could keep going, but you get the point). The more time we spend with Him, the closer we get to be like His character. And this is vital for all those who are longing for a better place to call home.

Because when Jesus was telling the disciples about the end of days, He told them that at the end people’s love will grow colder and colder because of the lawlessness (Matthew 24:12) that is growing more and more. Then Jesus states that only those who will be able to endure or last in the end will be saved (Matthew 24:13).

Endure what? Good question. Those who will be able to still have love in their hearts, burning bright as the midday sun. Those are the ones who will outlast every hateful comment, political argument, racist and bigoted biases, selfish desires. Revelation puts it like this: This calls for patient endurance on the part of the people of God who keep his commands and remain faithful to Jesus.” Revelation 14:12 NIV.

I will keep praying for my friend that her love does not wax cold. I’ll be praying for you too, pray for me as well. Because without help from heaven, we won’t make it through this hell.

Week 8

Writing a book was a piece of cake compared to the marketing aspect. I am trying to get my book out there so people can read my heart. I’ve never really worn my heart on my sleeve, but I sure did write it in a book! So I’ve reached out to what I deem in my mind as “accessible” celebrities—people who are social media famous in specific circles. So far, I have not received a peep back. I get it, but at the same time, I don’t. Because while I can’t get a “blue checkmark” individual on Instagram to even notice that I exist, the GOD of the UNIVERSE not only knows my name, He has it engraved in the palms of His hand!

This text that I alluded to is found in Isaiah 49: Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me.” Is. 49:16 ESV. The idea of my name being engraved in the palms of the Savior’s hands is mind-blowing to me. But the verse that comes after that melts my heart “your walls are continually before Me.” This phrase is discussing the torn and damaged walls that surrounded Jerusalem. The very next verse speaks of the destroyers who wrecked her (God likens Jerusalem as a woman or a bride) have finally left. And all that remains is a broken and battered Zion (another name for Jerusalem).

What destroyers have come through and broken down your defenses and left your heart wrecked and battered? Who violated you and treated you as something to be trampled upon? What incident happened to be the straw which broke the camel’s back? Whatever or whoever left you disremembered and bruised, broken and shattered, God says that what happened to you hurts Him and is always before His mind and His heart.

Do you know what He says in response to your hurt? He says that He will repair you Himself. And when He is done, your current ruined and desolate places, your ravaged life will be too small for the blessings that will come your way. And those who had harmed you will be so far gone, they’ll be like a distant memory never to be recalled again (Isaiah 49:17-19).

The beautiful passage in scripture says that you will be left in disbelief and recall for a moment that you were bereaved and barren; you were exiled, rejected, and left all alone (Isaiah 49:21). But then God steps in and says: Kings shall be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers. With their faces to the ground they shall bow down to you, and lick the dust of your feet. Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.” Isaiah 49:23 ESV.

I know I started this post discussing my lack of accessibility to the “kings and queens” of this world. But the King of kings knows me by name. He knows you by name too. He wants to have a relationship with you that is built on love. To do that, He knows that you’ll need more than some TLC, you’ll need TCV, or time, communication, and vulnerability. Now, He’s eternal, so He has all the time in the world. He’s written you a love letter that’s combined in 66 books. And He hung naked on a cross for your sins; you can’t get more vulnerable than that.

BREAKING NEWS!!! As I am writing this devotional blog, I get a text message from an elder at a church I used to attend. He asked me if I would be willing to do a devotion or two, next month to talk about my book to an audience of over 500 people!!! I can’t even believe it!

Magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together[!!].
I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to Him are radiant with joy; their faces shall never be ashamed.
Psalm 34:3-5 BSB

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 BSB

Surely my name is graven in His hands, and my walls are ever before Him,
Amen.

p.s. here’s the book “The Power of the Gospel in Your Relationships” and the Workbook too!

Week 4

Being apart of something greater gives us a sense of belonging. Human beings are desperate to belong to someone or something. This is why we have “friends” and “groups” on social media platforms. Isolation is a punishment used in penal systems, educational systems, and parenting methods. The idea of being separated from the group is not just a physical abandonment; it is a mental and spiritual one. This is perhaps why representation is such an essential aspect of the human narrative. A week ago, I saw someone like me take the highest office a woman has ever held within the USA government. Showing what brown girls everywhere can do. But there was ONE whose representation meant that I could have eternal life. And that means everything to me.

Jesus could have come as Himself: The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His nature, upholding all things by His powerful word. After He had provided purification for sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high.” Hebrews 1:3 BSB. He who came unto nothing, said something, and created everything could have come as the Almighty Himself, and that would have been great. But I couldn’t relate to Him, and neither could you.

God coming as a human is still something that I cannot fully grasp. But the fact that He is now apart of the human family for all of eternity, I can understand. I get that God understands what it means to be hungry: And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.” Matthew 4:2 KJV. He knows how it feels to get angry at injustices happening all around Him by people who were supposed to represent the love of God to others: So He made a whip out of cords and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle. He poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those selling doves He said, “Get these out of here! How dare you turn My Father’s house into a marketplace!” John 2:15-16 BSB.

He knows what it feels like to lose someone that He loved: Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!” John 11:35-36 BSB. He knows the pain of rejection (Matthew 21:42), denied by His best friend (Luke 22:54-61), betrayed (Luke 22:48), and what it feels like to be left alone (Mark 14:50), even what it feels like to be abandoned by His Father: My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46.

He did all of this, suffered all of this for one reason: looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who in view of the joy lying before Him endured the cross, having despised its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2 BLB.

That “joy” that was before Him was you and me, never having to go through the things which we must endure for a little while, for now. John got a glimpse of Christ’s joy: After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands” Revelation 7:9 KJV.

What happened on January 20th, 2021, was a beautiful brown woman representing colored girls and women everywhere. What happened 2000 years ago was a beautiful, loving Savior representing “whomsoever” (John 3:16) desiring to have eternal life.

Representation is important. Know that you and I are being represented in heaven by a God who would rather face death than a life without you.

Day 360

Five days left. I can’t believe I’m really entering into a countdown. There were a few times I wanted to quit. Not that many, surprisingly, but there were a few. I mean, after all, this was a self arbitrary application. No one else would care if I skipped a day or so. Who would notice if I didn’t get to 365 days? God would.

The Bible tells us in the book of Psalm to: Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” Psalm 37:5. How will God help you? Or at least how did God help me during this daily activity of writing down my understandings of His word? I suppose the best way I can explain it to you, is without Him there would be no “Enoch365.”

The entire premise was based on the idea of spending time with Him as Enoch did. The Bible says that Enoch walked and talked with God for 300 years and then God took him. Enoch was 65 when he started walking with the God of the universe. And the scriptures have this to say about him: By faith Enoch was taken away so that he did not see death, “and was not found, because God had taken him”; for before he was taken he had this testimony, that he pleased God.” Hebrews 11:5.

I guess the one thing I want to be written on my tombstone if I don’t make it to see God alive, is “Before she was taken she had this testimony, that she pleased God.” Taking a look at just this year, have I made decisions that would please God? Honestly, sometimes I didn’t. But that’s when He would help me even more. He would let me know through His Divine Spirit that what I had done had not been pleasing to Him.

And you might think, what sort of things did you do? Well, Romans 8 tells us anything that we do in the flesh is not of the Spirit, and the book of Galatians explains: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23.

I haven’t always shown love, had joy, brought peace, shown patience or kindness; I haven’t always been good or faithful, and many people would doubt that I am gentle. I struggle immensely with self-control. Basically, I’m a failure when it comes to being a Christian. And when I’ve had days where the truth of my character comes to light, I am often tempted to just give it up. Because who cares if I write one more poorly structured devotional blog? He does. God cares.

Why should He care? Well even: if we are faithless, He remains faithful— for He cannot deny Himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13. And before I began this journey I had laid it out before Him, and this is what the word of God says about that: Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be achieved.” Proverbs 16:3.

Maybe not in the way you thought, but He will work it out so that the plan will be accomplished. I think of Moses, who so desperately wanted to see his people freed. He had a plan, but it failed. He thought that he could take down the Egyptian army by force, by his might and his power. We saw how that worked out, he ended up murdering an Egyptian and his own people were willing to sell him out.

So he ran. Ran from everything he knew and loved, he even thought he ran from God, and God’s plans for him. But just as the Psalmist stated: Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?” Psalm 139:7. You see Moses and God had the same desires, to see the children of Israel free. But they did not have the same methods: So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD…Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the LORD of Hosts.” Zechariah 4:6.

God will get things done through His Spirit. And the fruit of His Spirit is how we are supposed to get things done. I honestly don’t see how embodying love, joy, peace and the like will get me what I desire, but He tells me to: Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;” Proverbs 3:5. So that’s what I’m going to do. I desire to share what’s in my heart and mind, what burns in my soul with others about the God that walks with me. How will I finally get the word out? I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to take it day by day, 365 days a year.