Day 201

What do you do when you have a problem that you can’t solve for the life of you? I ask this question primarily to myself. Today I received some disappointing news. And while my natural inclination was to go tell my mom (she’s my emotional safe space when it comes to venting) so we can worry together. But instead, I called myself out. I can’t spend night after night discussing the principles in the Word of God and telling others how amazing God is, and how He answers even before we cry out with our prayers, and not take my own advice. Insane as it may sound, I’m great at dishing it, but can I take it?

I went to my study and opened my Bible. I tried to recite the verses that I am working on memorizing, but I was stumbling all over myself. I could barely concentrate on what was in front of me because of what was on my mind. I tried desperately not to worry about the situation, instead, I laid all at the feet of Jesus, and told Him that I am trusting Him to take care of it. And just when I felt the panic rising up within my throat, I began to recall the times in which e had seen me through and had delivered unto me, blessings that I did not even recognize until the time had almost passed.

As I wrote down these miracles that the Most Hight has performed on my behalf, the panic began to subside and the calmness in which did not originate from within me began to fill every crevis of doubt in my mind and in my heart. I did not receive an answer right away, nor did the problem get solved. But I know in whose hand the problem now resides. I have taken it out of my hand because there is nothing that I can do, at all. But for some reason, for some purpose that is unknown to me, I am stranded here for a moment, awaiting His direction and deliverance.

In Moses’ final farewell speech to the nation which he saw delivered and now the were about to be adopted into a new land by the power of All Mighty God, he said these words: And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.” Deuteronomy 8:2. Now, I am not quite 40, but I have been in the wilderness for an extended period of time because I did not trust God in the past, and my decisions led me down a path in which I had to give up and let Him lead. And oh, what an adventure it has become! But when I look at back, the adventure has not always been pleasant. There have been times when I outright disobeyed the commandments of God to please myself, breaking His heart in the meantime. Yet He stuck through with me, not letting me go.

When I read this verse about humility and God testing me to see what is in my heart, if I would keep His commandments and trust Him or not, I nod incomplete understanding. Years ago during a crisis or an issue in my life, I searched for others who could sympathize with me but could offer no real solution to my problem. This time I so wanted to follow the same pattern. But in all honesty, I have been in the wilderness long enough, and He has seen me through it then, I know He will see me through now. I don’t know when and I don’t know how. But I have stepped out in faith, knowing that faith works through love (Galatians 5:6) and that love fulfills the law of God (Romans 13:8). And so if God wants to test me to see what is in my heart, I pray that He will find His law in my heart. For it was His own words that stated: “This is the covenant I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord. I will put My laws in their hearts and inscribe them on their minds.” Hebrews 10:16.

So I say with all the gusto and strength that I possess: Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee. Blessed art thou o Lord, teach me thy statutes. With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth. I will rejoice in the way of thy testimonies as much as in all riches. I will meditate on thy precepts and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight in thy statutes, I will not forget thy word. Deal bountifully with thy servant that I may live, and keep thy word.” Psalm 119:11-17.

Day 103

Have you ever had to leave someone that you really love, when you did not want to? One year, while I was in college, my parents came up to visit me for my birthday. It was a really strange birthday for me, I knew I was an adult but felt so scared and apprehensive about the future. I had to have been either 22 or 23. Whatever the case, it was Sunday and my family had to leave. My dad had work on Monday, and they really could not afford to just stay. His income was helping keep me in school. But the thought of being lonely on my birthday was eating me up inside. One of my brothers was actually attending school with me during that time. He tried to be around, but he was younger than I and did not really comprehend the angst that churned in my soul. All I knew was that I wanted, no, I needed my family to stay with me. I began crying and latched on the leg of my father, begging him not to go, but he had to, so he did. Of course, this memory triggered an event that occurred in the Bible, some 2000 years ago. So, let’s talk about it.

No one outside of her immediate family ever treated her with respect. She had a very soiled reputation. Her name was the one you’d find in the bathroom stalls with the tagline “call if you want a good time.” Once she thought that someone loved her, and wanted her for her, but it turned out to be a terrible rouse. Before the sun had come up, after he had had his fun, footsteps flooded the room where she lay. She looked, but she could not find him anywhere, she was alone, he had left her. Who else but he knew about their secret location? Could she have been followed? Mary ran all these thoughts in her head, as she was grappling for her clothes over the sea of screaming men. Before she knew it, she was being dragged out of the bedroom, through the main room and right out the front door. Dust flew all around her, and she could barely see through the crowd. She overheard them speaking about what would “He” say, and they “Got Him now!” She knew that her crime of passion’s penalty in her community, in her culture, was death by stoning. Tears began to well in her eyes, but she refused to give these men the satisfaction to see her beg for her life. She recognized some of their voices, they too had tasted her nectar, but she was the one being dragged out of bed while it was still dark. Now the sun had begun to peak over the horizon, she could see through the crowd just enough to make out where she was going, the Temple.

With one collective force, she was shoved towards the center of the outer court. There were those around a Man who stood up when she landed on the ground. She heard the gasp and the sounds of footsteps surround her. She coward in the fetal position, she knew that this was her last few moments on earth. Tears now freely streamed down her face, all she wanted was to be held, to be known, to be loved. Flashes of her life danced in her head, and pictures of her family swam in and out of her mind. How would they react when they found out that this is how their sister had died. Being the youngest, she would be the one to bring the ultimate shame to her family. She barely realized that the Man was saying something, would He be first to cast the stone? Was He talking to her? He was talking to her!

“Woman, where are those who accuse you?” His voice was so kind, and as she blinked back the tears and dust from her face, she knew she had seen Him before. She looked around, moments ago she had seen a gallery of dusty sandals with just as dust filled feet, now she saw no one, but Him. Would He be the One to condemn her? “No, one Lord?” She wasn’t sure, how she should answer. “Correct. No one is going to harm you today.” He gave her His hand and helped her stand up. He wrapped the mangled sheet around her and looked her in her face, into her eyes. She felt like He could read everything she had ever done, but there was no judgment in His eyes, only compassion. Her heart was pounding so loud she could hear it between her ears. She had never felt like this before, she had never felt known, loved, accepted. He was saying something, “You don’t have to live like this anymore. You’re free, no one is going to hurt you. Go, and sin no more.”

You can read the story that I just modernized for you in the book of John 8:1-11. Jesus was that Man who showed such compassion and grace to a woman who had been used as a ploy to try and destroy Him. Instead, He restored her. A week before He died, Jesus had been invited to a dinner party in His honor. He had healed a very well known man from the crippling disease of leprosy. During the dinner, this same woman would have been dead without His intervention, who under the law deserved the due punishment, was saved by Him. She came and anointed His head and His feet as a way to showcase her love for Him. She did not care who was there, or who was watching, all she knew, was that she had to show Him how much she loved him and appreciated Him for saving her life. As the aroma of the magnificent and expensive perfume filled the air, people began to take notice and were talking about her again. She was used to people looking down at her and talking about her, but she did not care.

Jesus stopped the gossip and the crowd. “What she is doing for me, none of you have even thought of. I came here to your house, and did you even offer me the customary washings? Or how about you, your concern is for the poor? You will have them always with you, but soon, you will not have me.” He paused, then said “Leave her alone. Wherever this gospel is preached, her story and what she has done will also be told, throughout the entire world.” You can read this part of the story in Matthew 26:6-13.

And it is fitting that when He was on the road to Golgatha, she was there along with His mother. And when He died, she was there to help wrap His body. And on Sunday morning when He resurrected, He waited for her before going to see His Father, because He knew how heartbroken she would be. He told her that He had to leave her, she clung to Him, He told her not to cling to Him because He was going to His Father, and Her Father. Then He gave her a mission: Go and tell everyone, that I AM risen!” John 20:11-18. And so goes the story of the first evangelist.

Now, 2000 years later. Jesus tells to Go and tell everyone, that I AM risen!” AND that He is coming again! The One, who died to take our place, when the law said that we deserved death, He looked at us with compassion, love, and acceptance and said “You no longer need to live a life of sin and shame. Go and sin no more. Go and live a full life. Go and tell the world your story.”

 

Day 40

There’s something special about the number 40. It comes up over and over again in the Bible. The first time this happens is in the book of Genesis. God gives a warning about a global catastrophic flood that would take place. Only a handful took Him seriously enough to act upon His warning. It rained for 40 days and 40 nights (Genesis 7:12). And so: to those who were disobedient long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water” (1st Peter 3:20).

What about Moses’ time with God? Exodus 34:28 says that: Moses remained there on the mountain with the LORD forty days and forty nights. In all that time he ate no bread and drank no water. And the LORD wrote the terms of the covenant—the Ten Commandments—on the stone tablets.” Most people in 1st world countries can’t go a few hours without satisfying their basic urges to eat or drink, lest then do an entire fast for over a month of just nothing. The human body can adapt to long periods without eating, however, it will die without water. But death cannot be in the presence of God! So by Moses being in the presence of God for that amount of time, he was in the very presence of life, so decomposition could not occur. When Moses left the mountain top experience with God, it said that his face shone like the sun. So much so that the people asked him to walk around with a veil on his face. But there are 2 more people who experienced this 40/40 experience. One was Elijah, and the other was Jesus. Believe it or not, they all experienced it around the exact same place.

Mt. Horeb or Mt. Siani was the mountain that God rested upon, that He spoke from in the hearing of the just freed slaves of the descendants of Abraham. Here He spoke His covenant of love to them and there He held a dinner party for the leaders of the newly freed people (Read about this in Exodus 24). Seeing that the entire earth could not retain God, as He explains in Isaiah 66:1 “This is what the LORD says: “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Where is the house you will build for me? Where will my resting place be?” Siani became an anchor more for the people so that they would know how God desired to be near them. Later in chapter 25:8 of Exodus, He tells Moses to have the children of Isreal build Him a sanctuary that He might “dwell” with them. Because His initial desire is to close the gap between mankind and Himself. But beyond the location issue, there’s the holiness issue.

God is holy and cannot dwell with sin. We are sinful creatures who were: born a sinner— yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.” Ps. 51:5. But does that mean we can’t overcome sin? If we can’t overcome sin then we are admitting that sin is more powerful than the One who spoke life into existence. Jude vs 24 denounces that fallacy: Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy…” To be honest, I get the second part. Jesus came and died so that we may have His righteousness and be blameless before the Father. But what about the first part?

Proverbs 24:16 tells us that: though a righteous man may fall seven times, he still gets up; but the wicked stumble in bad times.” The righteous man just means someone who participates in “right doing.” Here the author of Proverbs is explaining that the “right doing” individual is the one who actually falls. But then the wicked stumbles? And Jude 24 states that God is able to keep you from stumbling… WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? I’m going to do my best to explain it how I comprehend it. (If you have additional insight, please let me know!). By the grace of God, when we fall down due to us trying to walk down this path of life which Paul calls a “race.” We eventually choose a different path. Not the same one we were on before. This path the Bible defines as: But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” (Matthew 7:14). On the other hand in the same chapter it mentions that the road that leads to destruction is wide and attractive. Here this road is lined with items that cause you to stumble, and you enjoy the fall and stay there. This is why the wicked fall once but the righteous man keeps getting up. One is okay with their condition, the other is not.

Continuing on this “road.” Even though this path is narrow and the road is difficult, Hebrews chapter 11 has a whole host of names of individuals that found the path, walked it, fell and made it to the end. The author of Hebrews says of this phenomenon: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1).

Once again we run into a command that tells us to “throw every encumbrance and sin that so easily entangles” us. It’s easier said than done. This verse explains more of the reality of my walk with God: I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” (Romans 7:15). And that is 100% the honest truth! When I was in college, I was introduced to some “encumbrances” that I still struggle with today. The old adage that “Bad company corrupts good character” (1st Corinthians 15:33), is so true! I can’t blame those who introduced me to certain sins over 15 years ago for me continuing to fall down this pit! But I don’t see how I can be in God’s presence if I can’t beat this sin!

I’m lost and I can’t do it. And when I feel like the Devil has won, and I am that wicked man in Proverbs, stumbling and just remaining on the ground, a hand reaches out to pick me back up. He tells me, I know you can’t do it. “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…” (2 Corinthians 12:9). But before I take His hand, I’m still hesitant, God, do You know what You’re getting into, I mean I’m really weak. Then I hear this whisper “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6)

Okay, so it’s You doing the work in me, perfecting me so that I could spend more than just 40 days writing a devotional about You. But an eternity in Your presence and the only thing I have to do is take Your hand and give you my will? Okay, here it is, it’s all Yours.

Day 38

Did you know that we are 10% done with the new year? That means you still have 90% of this year to try new things, meet new people, form new relationships, admit you hurt someone. I’m sure you were not expecting that. But if we have gone through 10% of the new year and it feels like nothing has really changed, then maybe you’re what needs to change, or least stop doing things like they’ve been done. On Day 37 we discussed how dangerous gossip can be, and how the misrepresentation of the character of God led to a world filled with sorrow, pain, disease, and death. But what if you had the power to heal yourself physically, mentally and spiritually from sorrow, pain, and disease? And all you had to do was to say I’m sorry. Even when it’s not your fault…

In Matthew Jesus says an almost incredulous statement: If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” (Mattew 18:15). Jesus was explaining that if you come to the altar to pray and you know that someone has done something to you and this has cause a rift between the two of you, even if you were the party wronged, that you have the obligation to reach out to them. In fact, He says, leave your offering at the altar and go take care of this situation before you come back to pray.

What does it matter? Honestly, think about it? If someone did you wrong, why should you have to be the person to address them? Shouldn’t they know what they did was wrong, and come and “man-up” about it and say sorry? I agree wholeheartedly. But here’s the reality, a lot of times they don’t even know they wronged you. So you hold a grudge for years sometimes decades, and the other party doesn’t even know what you have against them! And do you know what holding grudges do to you? It literally destroys your immune system. It’s a scientific fact. By destroying your immune system, you open yourself to more diseases like cancer and heart disease! Don’t believe me? Check out these articles from reputable medical sources: Piedmont Healthcare, The Journal for the Association for Psychological Science, The Mayo Clinic. What these experts in their field are telling us, is what Jesus had said over 2000 years ago: Let it go. Of course, that’s easier said than done.

A few years ago (about 7 years ago) while I was at the DC airport waiting on a friend of mine who was picking me up, I got a “ding” from Facebook. It was a private message from someone that I had not really spoken to in about a decade. And that in itself was not the surprising factor, it was that we had not spoken in about 11 years on purpose. Even though I was the godmother of his child, we only had conversations out of necessity through text or polite hellos if we ran into each other. But we had not had a genuine conversation since we were teenagers.

He and I, let’s call him Abraham (Abe for short) were inseparable in high school. He was dating one of my best friends and the three of us were a wonderful camaraderie of love and acceptance. I never felt like the third wheel, and they purposefully made sure I was not left out of the friendship. Sadly in this world, all good things come to an end. And what a terrible end it happened to be. When they broke up, I was in the middle of it. Like a child in a divorce. I loved them both (and still do, to this day) and at 18 years old, I was forced to choose, whose side would I take? I took hers. But attempted to stay as neutral as possible. I never told the other party what their ex-significant other was doing. I didn’t want to feed that machine. I was hurt that my two best friends could not fix what had become irrevocably broken.

Believe it or not, Abe and I went to the same college, ended up working at the same hospital, and had the same friends. We couldn’t get out of each other’s lives. And I don’t think I ever wanted to. Fast forward 11 years from our last honest conversation to this “ding” from Facebook. It read something like this: Hey I’ve decided to forgive you and let everything go. The reason why is because while I was at church, the pastor made an appeal and explained that if we had grudges and anger in our hearts that we would not make to heaven. Because Jesus forgave us while we were sinners, and even while He was dying His final breaths were asking forgiveness for those who wronged Him. And at first, I didn’t want to answer the altar call, but I realized that I won’t go to hell for you.”

I was taken aback. WHAT?! This happened 7 years ago and we have never spoken about that remark. So much has happened in the last several years in his life that I missed because of brokeness of our relationship. He got married to an amazing woman, had 2 more kids, which I adore from a distance (I’m not a stalker but we do run into each other every once and a while, and it’s pleasant.) I tried to reach out to him when he first sent me that message, but he said there was no reason to bring it up again. He had forgiven me so let bygones be bygones. But I did not know that I had hurt him so much, and that in turn caused me sorrow. Truth be told, I still don’t know what I did to him, and every once in awhile sadness lingers in my heart when I think of it.

Even though years had gone by, and our lives had changed, I had wronged Abe and violated him in a way that meant I had sinned against him. The question is what is sin? “Every one who is guilty of sin is also guilty of violating Law; for sin is the violation of Law.” (1st John 3:4). Okay, so what is the Law?
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36-40). The Law that governs the Universe according to Jesus, is Love.

James 5:16 states: If you have sinned, you should tell each other what you have done. Then you can pray for one another and be healed. The prayer of an innocent person is powerful, and it can help a lot.” What James’ is saying here, is that if you’ve violated love towards someone you need to talk about it. Because talking about it brings healing. Interestingly enough what type of healing? The Greek word for healing here is iathēte, and this word is only used 2x in all of the New Testament. Once in James, which we just mentioned, another time in one of Peter’s letters: and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. (1st Peter 2:24).

The “healed” portion here is discussing the healing we need from broken hearts and crushed spirits. Luke chapter 4 Jesus quotes from the book of Isaiah to tell everyone what His initial purpose was to come here on this dingy little planet: “The Spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim release to the captives, recovering of sight to the blind, to deliver those who are crushed” (4:18).

Jesus’ mission was to show us the heart of the Father, who loves us more than His own existence, and desires that His children get along and love each other. And sometimes we can get on that path by taking the first step and reach out… We have 90% of the year left to get this right. I’ll start: I’m sorry...

 

 

Day 33

In the month of February, two topics are brought to the forefront: 1) Love and 2) Black History. Are the two mutually exclusive? I mean, someone might say that they “love Black history.” But that is not what I’m talking about. In the middle of the month on the 14th-day chocolate purchases sore through the roof. Cards, whether they are bought, made or sent electronically, all focus on emotional platitudes that are supposed to express what we feel towards one another. On the 15th all the Valentine’s day merchandise is marked down drastically. Those who could not muster a date or did not receive marketed products with tiny naked angels on them are either glad the day is over, saddened that they were excluded because of their singleness or both. What about Black History? Why have an entire month dedicated to the remembrance of an entire group of people who carry an array of different shades of melanin? Where are the cards and product placements, the chocolate frenzy for this “holiday”? And you’re probably wondering, “How is she going to make this into a devotion?” I’m glad you asked.

Today’s story takes us to the beginning…however not in Genesis (although I will mention text from there). Instead, we go to the book of Acts in the New Testament. It is sometimes referred to as the 5th Gospel. In Acts 17, Paul is discussing some foundational truths with a few philosophers in Athens. And as they listened to Paul, he takes the opportunity to expound Truth to them. I capitalized the “T” in truth because Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life (John 4:16). And Paul is discussing his favorite topic, Jesus. In vs 26-27 listen to what Paul explains: And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth…that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us“.

Paul in a very eloquent and brief statement (which was not the norm for him. Paul preached so long once, that someone fell asleep, fell from a balcony, and died. Paul went downstairs, with the power of God, brought him back to life, then kept preaching until daybreak…read it here) explains that all of mankind came from one individual (Adam) whom God created. We know the story of creation mentioned in Genesis 1 and 2, where God said “Let Us make mankind in Our image” (Gen. 1:26). And being a part of God’s image means that we should be Love (1st John 4:8). And just for a quick reminder, here are the characteristics of love:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…” 1st Corinthians 13:4-8.

If what the Bible states is true, then all men are equal, regardless of the amount of melanin in their skin. And if that is not enough, Romans 3:23 makes it clear that every single one of us is guilty before a sinless God. We’re all on the same level. So when in 1619 the first Black slave ship landed in Virginia in what would become the United States of America, and human beings were treated as cargo and property, instead of fellow human beings, what excuse did individuals use? Are you ready for this? Many individuals used the BIBLE to justify their greed and dependence on forced human labor. There was no love being executed there. No one who participated in slavery demonstrated the image of God. Slavery is a Satanic mechanism, and along with that is prejudice.

Those who used the Bible to coerce and promote slavery are the ones who Christ said: Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” (Matthew 7:15). I’m sure there were many people who were seduced into believing their lies, so much so, that they tried to annex themselves from the Union and make their own country. (And you thought this was only about Black History… NEWSFLASH, Black History is American, it’s World History). God isn’t going to buy “my Pastor said such and such.” Because He expects you to study the Word of God for yourself! 2nd Timothy 2:15 “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” It did not work in WWII when they had murdered over 40 million people based on racist ideologies to say “Oh, we were just following orders” (with over 75 million deaths). And it will not work with God. He is no respecter of persons (Romans 2).

God is so against the prejudice and racists satanic methods that have infiltrated our society, He lets us know His feelings in when a story creeps up with those two terrible traits in Numbers 12 among His called people. I’ll give you a brief recap, but I suggest you read it for yourself:
Miriam and Aaron, Moses’ elder siblings, were talking about his dark-skinned wife. Miriam is the instigator and gets her brother Aaron to go along with her. What space does she have to speak? She was a slave, like 10 minutes prior, but now she can’t stand that her in-law is Black? Okay. She uses her dislike for her sister-in-law to talk about Moses and his capabilities. Because if you’re going to marry a Black person, where’s his head at?! God catches wind of this conversation and gets heated! Really Miriam? This is where you want to go? Moses talks to God and tries to intervene on his sister’s behalf, but listen to how God feels when Miriam discriminates against one of His children:
The anger of the Lord burned against them, and he left them.
When the cloud lifted from above the tent, Miriam’s skin was leprous—it became as white as snow. Aaron turned toward her and saw that she had a defiling skin disease, and he said to Moses, “Please, my lord, I ask you not to hold against us the sin we have so foolishly committed. Do not let her be like a stillborn infant coming from its mother’s womb with its flesh half eaten away.”
So Moses cried out to the Lord, “Please, God, heal her!”
The Lord replied to Moses, “If her father had spit in her face, would she not have been in disgrace for seven days? Confine her outside the camp for seven days; after that she can be brought back.” Numbers 12:9-14.

It says that God’s anger burned against them, and He equated Miriam’s action and punishment as a father spitting in his daughter’s face (in Revelation ch. 3 Jesus talks about being so sick of His church’s behavior, that it makes Him feel like throwing up and He wants to just spit them out. God has real emotions). When we behave with hate towards one another simply because they are different from us, it is as if we have disgraced God so much that it makes Him want to upchuck. Because He created us from one person for the expressed purpose to give and receive love.

Happy Love & Black History Month

Day 32

We’re FINALLLLLLY done with January! Can you believe that?! I feel as if that was probably one of the longest months of my life. It was a little bit of a stressful one, but God saw me through! I celebrated another year of life, and I honor and bless His name. You know what else, I have posted 32 (including this one) blog post! I have never done that many collectively in all my years. I am going, to be honest with you, I love a good project. But the sustainability for me to continue one really is not my thing. If I’m building something or recreating an object that has a beginning, middle and end, which does not take more than a week, I’m golden. Let something have a long shelflife, I am not interested in seeing it through. I’m terrible like that. I even fast-forward through TV shows and read up on series that I am binge-watching just so I can get to the end already. Basically, I have a problem with being patient. And that’s the one thing God is all about.

A day for God is like 1000 years: But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day.” (2nd Peter 3:8). God lives outside of time, so the way that we monitor it (like how January took forever) is not how He sees it at all. In Genesis 3:15 He gives a promise/prophecy of how He is going to redeem the human race! Wonderful, can’t wait. Eve has her firstborn son and names him “Cain” which means “I’ve gotten the man or the seed.” She got something, but it was not THE Seed. No, He did not come until 4000 years later. What about Sarah and Abraham, which we’ve discussed on several occasions. God tells them that they will have kings descend from them. Sounds great, but neither one of them has children. God fulfills the promise 25 years later for Sarah to have a son when she is 90 years old.

God why do you wait so long to fulfill Your promises to us? Have you ever thought of that? What if there really were specific reasons as to why God seems like He’s lagging all the time? In 2nd Peter 3:9 he says: The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” Okay, so let’s recap on some promises that seemed like God was lagging and see, what if He gave it to them when they wanted it.

Adam and Eve = When God promised Himself, essentially, to come and to live like mankind and deal with our issues, what sense would it be if He came 1 generation from perfection? In all honesty, if Jesus came as a 14-foot giant, without any flaws, how could He really understand what it means to be human and flawed? Hebrews 4:15 states it plainly: For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.” Jesus suffered loneliness and hunger, rejection and pain, sorrow and tiredness of heart. If He had come sooner than that, it would not have been fair. Think of Morgan Spurlock the American documentary filmmaker who made Supersize Me. He did another documentary film in 2005 called 30 days when he lived on minimum wage for 30 days. What if during his trial he had his backup bank card he could pull out at any moment, in case of an emergency? That would not have been fair. He had to empty himself, and give up all of his financial resources and live like everyone else on minimum wage for the full 30 days. Now, when Morgan tells me that he knows the struggle, I can believe him. God wanted no short cuts either: Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form” Phil. 2:7.

Abraham and Sarah = When God called Abraham out of his comfort zone (Genesis ch. 12) to go to a place where God would direct him, that took faith. But as you read Abraham’s story, his faith wavered a lot. There were 2 recorded times when instead of turning and trusting God, he asked his wife to play the prostitute, so he wouldn’t get killed if someone wanted to sleep with her because she was his wife. WHAT?! Yeah. How could God had given him the son of promise, if Abraham did not fully trust God yet? What was Abraham going to teach Isaac about trusting God, if at every turn his father was not? Sometimes God isn’t just binding His time to give us what He wants to give us, but because He sees that we are not ready. And what was to be a blessing, turns into a curse.

If we in of ourselves are not converted, and we still have a carnal mind or a mind of the flesh, our hearts are not open to the instructions and will of God. In fact, Paul tells us that in Romans 8:7: the mind of the flesh is hostile to God: It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.” Then in 1st Corinthians 2:14, he explains: The natural man does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God. For they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.”

Let’s talk about not being ready for a blessing: I worked overnight for about a decade in a clinical aspect before I moved onto administration during the day. I loved the people I worked with and my patients, but I felt like something was missing. So I asked my parents to pray for me. And collectively we prayed for about 10 years before I finally was removed from the night position into a supervisory role. From there God continued to guide my career and allowed it to grow. But before I got here, there were lessons that I needed to learn. When I go to meetings and have to have difficult conversations, they come naturally to me. People ask me “where did you learn how to handle these types of situations”. And I know it was my time at night, working with a skeleton crew, utilizing my limited resources, and having tough conversations with physicians and other healthcare workers, because there wasn’t a supervisor at night to handle them.

God had been growing me to flourish, but first, my roots had to be grown deeply in the soil. Otherwise, when problems and issues came my way, I could be wiped away by the first sound of rain. And as I was growing in the dark, in the manure, I could not understand why He was taking so long to let me see the sunlight, and work during the day! It was so I could learn to lean and count on Him 100%, then He could trust me with His light.

I don’t know what promise God seems to be taking forever to answer, all I know is that He always fulfills His promises and that His primary goal is that you build a solid relationship with Him that will end with you being in Him and He in you for all eternity (John 17), and that may mean He’ll have to take His time with you.

Day 30

What happens when Jesus’ right on time is your too late? If you recall on Day 23 we discussed God visiting Sarah when she had no hope left. When she was completely devoid, He came, in His set time, and 90-year-old Sarah gave birth to the son of promise. Today I want to concentrate on an event that takes place in the New Testament. This story takes place in several places in the New Testament, however, we are going to take a look at the book of Mark, chapter 5.

Our story starts in verse 21 of chapter 5. Jesus is getting out of the boat and making His way through town. But before He can even clear His way, a man comes before Him and kneels at the feet of Jesus, humbling himself before the Master. This man is called Jairus and was a well-respected leader in the Jewish religious community. And when a father came begging Jesus to come to his house and lay hands on his daughter, Jesus had mercy on him and went with him (Mark 5:22-24). Now a few interesting things. This man Jairus came to Jesus, asking God for His help, but also telling God what to do. Did you catch it in the verse: implored him earnestly, saying, “My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her, so that she may be made well and live.” (vs. 23).

It got me thinking when we ask for God’s intervention, do we sometimes tell Him what to do and how to do it? I think, no, I know that we do. When things get rough financially we tell God to either pay our bills (school loans, hint*hint*), or help us win the lottery (which we should never play if we believe that God has called us to be good stewards), or give us a raise. But we (at least I) don’t just ask Him for help and leave it there for Him to control. When we rely on Him completely, we say with certainty that He is in full control. And in order for us to get to that place, God has to be a little late.

There are so many stories in the Bible where it seems as if God was late: Joseph (read his story in Genesis); 3 Hebrew young men in Babylon (read their story in Daniel), and of course Sarah, which we’ve already mentioned. Each time when it seemed as if God is late, 2 things happen:
1) Human beings realize that there is nothing they can do on their own. This leads to complete dependence on God.
2) God does above and beyond all that they can ask or think.

What happens to Jairus is no exception. He starts off as a ruler in the synagogue who came to Jesus for a favor. When his experience with Jesus is complete, he would have been completely broken and dependent on God, which is where Jesus always wanted him to be. Why would God want you there? Well, that way we don’t get in His way, and essential in our way of a miracle.

Jairus begins to guide Jesus to his house when all of a sudden Jesus stops moving. And what may have seemed like the most absurd comment ever made, Jesus says: Who touched me?” in a crowd of a few hundred people, pressing on Him. The disciples are a bit incredulous and a little sarcastic when Jesus asked who touched Him: And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?’” (vs. 31). Jesus ignores their sarcasm because He knows what they didn’t. Someone reached out in faith and power from His Father left Him and went to whoever touched Him.

Turns out it was a woman who had a hemorrhaging problem for, are you ready for this? TWELVE YEARS! She had lost all her finances, her social status, friends and family. She had been ostracized in her very own society. But when she heard about Jesus, hope sprung in her once more, and by faith reached out to Him.

How beautiful. When life has counted you out for the count, and you feel terribly alone, know that God sees you and He wants you to reach out to Him while His arms are still open.

I digress, this woman, who Jesus calls daughter, tells her whole truth, which must have taken a while. We know this because people had now come to tell Jairus to walk away from the Master, from Jesus because He was too late, Jairus’ daughter had succumbed to death. Jesus watches the face of the ruler who loved his daughter so much, crumbled in despair and sorrow, and Jesus speaks light into the darkness of his spirit: Do not fear, only believe.” (Mark 5:36).

Jesus then takes 3 of His disciples and removes everyone else from the room where the daughter had taken her last breath. When Jesus sees her, He exclaims that she is only just sleeping. Those who were there, who saw her die, began to laugh at Jesus, this is why they had to be removed. *SIDEBAR: When Jesus is working on your life, be careful not to mingle with those who will try to laugh you out of your faith. And God will clear people out of your life to make way for your breakthrough, you must only believe*

Jesus reaches out to the girl who was TWELVE years old and tells her to arise. And so what is called a miracle takes place, this little girl of TWELVE years, who was dead, is raised back to life. When Jairus was looking for simple healing, God had planned something so much more mighty and mindblowing.

Do you see that I keep mentioning the number 12? That’s because the lady who had her condition had been sick for 12 years and the little girl was 12. Meaning from eternity past, God had seen that this lady would get sick the same year this girl was born, and with the intervention of His Son, would make sure that all their paths crossed, and God would be glorified by making them whole. At the cross of calvary our condition of sin which leads to death was met by the One on the cross to heal our brokenness and restore us to life.

I know that God desires to make you whole, to complete you, He just asks that we wait on Him a little longer, even when it seems like He’s a little too late, He’s right on time.

Day 23

In Genesis chapter 12 when God calls Abram (who He later changed to Abraham), God’s call entails and includes Abram’s spouse, Sarai. Sarai’s name meant “princess.” And apparently, she was absolutely stunning. The last guy who was not her husband that wanted to sleep with her, she was about 90 years old… The only two people that I know might be able to pull this off are Rozonda Ocielian Thomas aka Chilli (image on left) from TLC or Angela Basset. Those women seem to defy the aging process. But there was no beauty or rest in Sarai’s spirit. God had called her husband out of their home, to a place He would show Abram, and as the supportive wife, she would go. This was Abram’s journey with his God, she was along for the ride. Abram told her that God had spoken to him and explained that He was going to make him a great nation (Genesis 12:2)! Sarai couldn’t believe it. She was already 65 years old and had never even had a pregnancy scare. All she longed for was to carry life in her womb and birth the love she felt in the pit of her soul. Everywhere she looked, everyone was getting married and pregnant; raising families, and living the life she had only dreamed of. If her husband was going to receive this blessing from this God, maybe she would have her dreams fulfilled by association.

Sarai became a desert princess as she followed her husband all over the countryside, from one side of the desert to the other. People recognized her beauty as exceptional (Genesis 12:11-14; 20), and she continued to feel empty and she felt robbed of the joy that so troubled her soul. Could she trust this God of her husband? What if the promise was never intended for her? What if God only meant to make Abram a great nation? If that’ what needs to happen, she’d do her best to help God’s plan along. So she called the teenager that was her “handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.” (Genesis 16:1).

I want to pause here in Sarah’s story. Because there are times where we think that God’s promises are lagging and that we need to help Him along. By the time Sarah had reverted to her plan, that still has major consequences today (Genesis 16:12; 17:20), God’s promise had been echoed in her heart for a decade. She was now 75 years old and still childless. She was desperate. I’ve been desperate.

It was a Friday night and I was doing some things to help a church function. I was on my way to drop off what was requested of me. On my way down the busy road, I began to formulate in my mind a plan. I was going to call this guy, who was a handsome, kind, God-fearing man, and tell him that maybe we should give it try. I mean we both love Jesus, we were pretty good friends, single, so why not. Even as I thought of the plan, defeat was written all over my spirit. How was I going to call him and not sound depressed while doing it? I shook off the feeling as I pulled into the church parking lot. I opened up my trunk and began to unload the items. As I dropped them off, something in my spirit was like “linger for another minute.” It was a Friday night, I had nothing to do, so I lingered awkwardly in the corridor. Honestly, I didn’t want to make that phone call, but as I said earlier, I was desperate.

I wanted to be known and loved. To be in a relationship of mutual respect and joy. I wasn’t afraid of hard work, but I was afraid of remaining alone. I made up my mind and decided to just get up the nerve and call him. Right before I took my phone out and headed out the door, I heard my name. I turned, and it was my choir teacher from high school, who became one of my “church mothers” / spiritual mentors. I went to go hug her and say a quick hello because I had something I had to do. My church mother was telling me about the weekend’s events and how she was visiting this church for the special weekend. I listened respectfully, nodding where appropriate. And then she stopped in the middle of her explanation of the special concert that was going to be happening on the next day and said to me: Don’t settle.” I looked at her confused. And for the next several minutes began to tell me that God has something special in store for me and that I should wait on the Lord, and not settle. Then she laughed and was like “Child I don’t know why I just said all that.”

I knew why she said that. My heart skipped multiple beats as I held my breath. Shakily I told her I know why she said that. Then I preceded to tell her what my plans were as soon as I left her presence. She shook her head and gave God praise, then prayed with me. She told me to hold on a little longer. That was over 5 years ago.

Back to Sarai’s decision to help further God’s plan. She had her handmaid sleep with her husband, convincing him that the child that Haga bore, would be her adoptive son. Because the issue was clearly with her, unable to get pregnant, not Abram’s because God had promised to make him a great nation. Sure enough, Hagar gets pregnant and Sarai’s life becomes a living hell. For 13 years Sarai lives in constant torment as her husband finally enjoys the one thing he’s always wanted; which came from another woman. God had made His promise to Abram when she was 65 years old, and now she was 89. The promise was never directed to her, and she cursed herself for hoping.

In Genesis 17 God visits Abram again makes a covenant with him and changes his name to Abraham, because he will be the father of many nations. Then God says this: As for Sarai your wife, you will not call her Sarai no longer, but Sarah… I will bless her, and give you a son through her; yes I will bless her, and she will be the mother of nations, and kings will come out of her.” (vs15,16). For the first time, Sarah is included in the covenantal blessing by name. Abraham’s reaction, at 99 years old was to laugh. He laughed at God. SOUNDS CRAZY. But he did, and God didn’t strike him dead.

The next chapter Sarah overhears God speaking to Abraham that she would give birth. In multiple verses, it explains her laughing as well. She was 90 years old. God calls her out and asks her why was she laughing, she back peddled and said she hadn’t. But God heard her and said: yes you did. Is there anything too hard for the LORD? (Gen. 18:10-15).

And then the crux of this entire devotional hangs on this verse: And the LORD visited Sarah as He had said, and the LORD did for Sarah as He had spoken.” (Genesis 21:1). The next verse says she gave her husband a son in his old age, and that in God’s time He gave them what He promised. They named him “Laughter” (Isaac).

Luke 18 Jesus tells a story which summarizes in this: pray without ceasing. Keep talking to God your Father about the desires of your heart. Be open and honest and with Him. Whatever desire that you have that is in His will, He’ll answer it if He promised it because He is faithful. The difficult part is waiting on His time. But I promise, that the wait will be worth it, and you too will have “Laughter” in your life.

Day 22

When your terrible choices in life have led you down a path that seems utterly hopeless, don’t give up, because God hasn’t given up on you. Sounds good doesn’t? But is it true? According to the Bible, yes. About 98% of the stories and occurrences in the Bible is about people making terrible choices, and God, although respectful of their decisions, never giving up on them. It isn’t until we as human beings decide that we no longer desire His influence in our life and reject Him, does He step back and allow nature to take its course: the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). But even then He says that: the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus (Romans 6:23). I want to talk about someone who made one terrible choice after the other, and when everyone wrote them out, God never did. And I promise, as long as you have breath in your body, God will always be there for you, sometimes you just need to reach out.

Before we discuss this person, it is important that we circle back and understand that God is love (1st John 4:8). They type of love mentioned here is Agape. Constant benevolence towards a subject. Within benevolence resides justice and mercy, as well as compassion and sympathy. God is all of that to us all the time. And there was one person who seemed to get that about Him, in fact, He called him a man after His own heart (1st Samuel 13:14). Have you ever heard of the adage “once saved, always saved”? Well, I hate to disappoint you, that isn’t Biblically accurate. David although considered a man after the very heart of God, as we mentioned, God did not let him off of the hook when it came to sin and injustice: For David had done what was pleasing in the LORD’s sight and had obeyed the LORD’s commands throughout his life, except in the affair concerning Uriah the Hittite.” (1st Kings 15:5). What happened with Uriah that displeased the Lord so much, He had to mention it?

I am going to do my best to recap this story and include references if you would like to go and read it for yourself later on. David was king of Isreal. God called him to clear out the enemies of Isreal (1st Samuel 13; 18; 1st Chronicles 28). Typical for a Commander in Chief. David was doing a great job fighting Isreal’s battles, but then he got really comfortable and compliant. And those are two very dangerous places to be at the same time. Proverbs chapter 16 says that: Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece (vs 27).” and in the same chapter mentions that:  Wickedness loves company—and leads others into sin (vs 29).” And David proved both of those theories true. As Commander in Chief, he was supposed to be fighting with his troops, as all kings and leaders did. But once he got some fame and a taste of the good life, all of a sudden he didn’t think that the rules applied to him. At least that is what we read in 2nd Samuel 11: In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem (vs 1).

Now when we read the Bible, it is important to first understand the context, the audience and the purpose of the author. The author was pointing out the obvious that David should have been at war with his army, instead of remaining at Jerusalem. That whole first sentence is the author of 2nd Samuel throwing shade at David. Because what is about to go down is going to scar him and his family FOR LIFE.

This story can get long and convoluted so here are the highlights:

• David sleeps with one of his best friend’s wives (while her husband is alive, fighting for David). David’s best friend was Jonathan. Jonathan died in battle. David had about 30 ride or die (literally die, these guys went above and beyond for him, because they knew he had been anointed by God) men called “David’s Mighty Men” (2nd Samuel 23:8-39). One of the men that were considered a part of his inner circle was “Uriah the Hittite” (2nd Samuel 23:39).
• David finds out she’s pregnant so he arranges for the assassination of Uriah by giving him the very note that assigned his murder (2nd Samuel 11:13-15).
• David takes her in and makes her his wife, pretending like he’s honoring his friend by looking out for his widow. But EVERYONE knew what had happened. No one wanted to say anything because he was the king (2nd Samuel 11:27).
• After God confronts David for his wrongdoing by the prophet Nathan, David asks God for forgiveness and pens the most penitent psalm in the Bible (2nd Samuel 12; Psalm 51).
• David’s actions created a whirlwind of destruction around him. His family no longer respects him, the nation despises what he has done and doesn’t think he can be trusted, his most trusted advisors’ plot against him to destroy and take his kingdom from him. All this happens in 2nd Samuel chapters 12 – 20:
  • His son rapes his sister because if his dad the king can have whomever he wants, why shouldn’t he? After he rapes her, he feels disgusted and throws her out.
  • Her other brother (David’s favorite son Absolom), takes her into his home and gives his father the king 1 year to make things right. David, feeling so guilty over what he did to his best friend, does nothing. He doesn’t correct his son for violating his own sister, and never even checks on his daughter to see if she was okay.
  • So Absolom plans a party, invites all his brothers and murders the one who raped his sister.
  • Absolom runs away because he doesn’t want to die, now that he is a murderer. David eventually forgives him but bands him from the palace.
  • Absolom plots against his father and plans a coup to take the nation from him, and is quite successful. One of the first things he does is sleep with his father’s royal prostitutes (I know they call them concubines, but, a spade’s a spade…) on the palace rooftop so the whole nation could see.
  • David flees in disgrace.
  • Absolom gets murdered by one of David’s generals.
  • David returns to the palace.
  • Makes his son Jedihdiah king.
  • David dies.

There’s about 10 chapters in a nutshell. You would think, what a loser! God gave you everything, and you lost it all because A) you got too cocky, and B) couldn’t keep it in your pants?! Believe it or not, that is not the end of David’s legacy. Even though everyone had written him off, God did not. In Psalm 51 when David poured out his heart and asked God to create in him a clean heart, to renew a right spirit in him, David was giving God permission to intercede on his behalf. David lived the rest of his life under the shadow of that one mistake, and it ate at him. Everywhere he looked there was destruction, because of his choice. But God forgave him. That doesn’t mean that the consequences of his actions would be wiped out, but that his sin was.

And God kept His promise of wiping out David’s sin. He gave David a new legacy when God Himself said: I, Jesus, have sent My angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, the bright Morning Star.” (Revelation 22:17). Jesus identified Himself with David, all his failures, Jesus took those on. And believe it or not, He wants to take on all your failures and identify with you. That is one of the reasons He came in human flesh. To understand what you go through and fight in the trenches with and for you. Will everything you do please Him? No. Is there anything you can do to have Him love you less? No. Just take a look at someone He called a man after His own heart.