Week 10

One of the most well-known passages in scripture is Psalm 23 (I’ll insert it below). Those beautiful words penned by a troubled child of God offers me comfort. As a Black woman, the obstacles that are designated to me have a way of weighing me down while trying to uproot me at the same time. Regardless of the sex I was designed to be; I would be Black. As a Black man, there are plenty of obstacles and trauma awaiting you in this world. I cannot speak to them, but I respect the struggle. What I can speak on is that as a woman, I am considered less than, and as a Black person, I am seen as a danger, but as a Black woman, I am perceived as undesirable. Yet, as a child of God, I am priceless.

The interview involving the Duke and Duchess of Sussex with Oprah Winfrey seemed to rock the world. But as I sat there listening to the encounters of racial prejudice in one of the highest and most respected families of the world, the thought came to me: It did not matter that it was royalty; bigotry knows no class.

There were times that I did clinch when I heard them recount the tale of concern for the skin color of their unborn children. I clinched not because I was surprised at what was said but because I’ve heard it before. Brother’s future in-laws were are highly concerned about the color of their future grandchildren. My mother once told me to think of my children’s color if I had any with a tall, handsome, and very dark man I was once dating. The color of one’s skin seems to be a marker that the world delineates your social status in this life.

And so, I know that I do not have the capacity, resources, or miraculous power to un-blind people from the misogyny of the devil himself. But what I do have is the assurance from the word of God that I am loved with an everlasting love, and with loving-kindness does God pull me into Himself (Jeremiah 31:3). I know that when the choice had to be made, God chose me, the Black Woman, over God (John 3:16). Did you catch that? I am worth more than the life of God to God!

So, let the people who have NO say on my eternal life be concerned about my sex and the color of my skin. I’m looking for a city, a country, a world whose builder and maker is God (Hebrews 11:10). Until I can cross those golden streets, I’ll rest in the green pastures (Psalm 23:2) that God leads me to, and rest in His description of me.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Psalm 23 KJV

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Week 7

We’re 7 weeks into the new year. But 2021 doesn’t feel new at all. Some of our old insecurities have crept up and taken hold of us. How many of us have kept those New Year’s Resolutions? If we’re honest with ourselves, how many of us actually made any resolutions? Being honest is a virtue. We’ve seen what lies can do, the hurt they can cause, the pain that they inflict. All we have to do is look back 7 weeks to January 6. But there’s something about being in a crowd that gives us the strength to do the most insane things. Individually, would any of those people storm the United States’ Capitol by themselves? Of course not! But being in a group somehow provided courage to partake in the insanity. Standing alone takes more courage than running with a crowd. And can I admit right here and right now that I am scared.

Today I had a conversation about changes in the future, and while my heart was pounding in an erratic beat, my eyes kept a steady tempo of the conversation. After the meeting, I went to go pray. God, I am not qualified to do what is being presented before me. If you call me to walk that specific path, I don’t think I will succeed in that portion of my journey. I like being a middle-sized fish in a small pond. And I’ve never been crazy about being in the ocean. Why churn the waters now?

As I prayed, I realized that my fear was more about me and less about Him. The fear that coursed through my veins and whispered in my ear that I am inadequate forced me to focus on myself. So to rectify that, God pointed me to the scriptures. First, He reminded me of the commandment that is given more than any other in the Word of God, “Do not fear” / “Fear not” / “Do not be afraid.” The combination of that commandment is given 365 times in the Bible. Fear has no place in my relationship with God, for the Bible tells me that God is love (1 John 4:8) and that fear cannot coexist with love (1 John 4:18).

Okay, check, fear is dropped. But what about my inadequacy, or the fact that I don’t feel intellectually capable of doing what You are calling me to do? God tells me to once again take my eyes off of the mirror and back into the Word: As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.” He is our father in the presence of God, in whom he believed, the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being what does not yet exist.” Romans 4:17 BSB.

This text is referring to Genesis 17:5, when God changed Abram’s name to Abraham. God told him that “for I have made you a father of many nations.” BSB. At the time when God said that, Abram had one son who was 13 years old. Yet God spoke to Abraham as if He lived in an alternate reality. And the truth is, God does. He said: Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me.” Isaiah 46:9 NLT. But He does not stop there: I declare the end from the beginning, and ancient times from what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and all My good pleasure I will accomplish.'” Isaiah 46:10 BSB.

God sees the end from the beginning, and when He calls us to do something, it is because He has seen that we have done it already. Not by our will or sheer determination. Instead, we accomplish amazing and wonderful things, simply for this reason: So He said, “I will certainly be with you.” Exodus 3:12. That’s it; He will certainly be with you.

When He told a group of misfit men to go out and change the world, they were full of doubt and fear. But this is what He said to them: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Matthew 28:20. It is the presence of God that affords us the ability to go and do the most amazing things.

You don’t need a crowd to garner courage and strength to face the impossible. All you need is Jesus. Because with Him, the two of you are always the majority.

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Day 304

A few weeks ago I purchased a smartwatch to help me keep track of my steps as a motivation to my new life style journey. My brother stop by to visit me, and he noticed the new addition on my arm. He asked me how I was enjoying it. I told him that it was doing the job, and it was “ok.” Just then his smartwatch buzzed. He was receiving a message. I glanced over at hm and I could see the red heart light up on his screen. A second later my watch buzzed and a little gray heart was seen on my screen. He responded to a group text among my immediate family members, which is why I received the same buzzing. But even though we both received the same message, our equipment notified us in different ways.

My brother saw my face and asked me if I was okay. I told him that I wish my $145.00 smartwatch also had color in it’s program. A day later my brother told me that he found the exact watch that he had, but with the black man, which is what I wanted. It had a larger display and did a lot more than my current watch, and he found it at a lower price than what I purchased for the smaller less impressive smartwatch. When he told me the price, I was shocked, I asked him “What’s the catch?” He laughed and said nothing, he said it’s refurbished.

Refurbished? Did I want to spend all that money for a watch that had been refurbished? My brother asked me if I liked his watch. I already told him that I liked very much. He then told me that he had his watch for over a year, and that he had purchased his watch refurbished too. As the initial shock wore off I decided to trust him and return the smartwatch that I had for the refurbished one that he had found. After a week, my watch finally was delivered. My brother, the savvy tech guy, set it up for me and put it on my wrist. I’ve had it for a little while now, and you couldn’t tell me that this isn’t a brand new watch.

I looked up the word “refurbished” and I found such meanings as: overhaul, recondition, and renovate. It’s the idea of taking something that was not neglected or unwanted and making it brand new. It’s not completely brand new, because part of the old is still there. I think that’s what God does for us. That while we are still in this present body, that He does a complete overhaul, reconditions and renovates our heart. David puts it like this: Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.” Psalm 51:10-12.

We can see David crying out to God to refurbish him. Because his current way of life was one that rested on the heels of death. And he no longer wanted to live in that manner. God will never turn away from such a sincere prayer. In fact, it’s what He declared He wanted to do for us to begin with: I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26. How? How will God give us a new heart and put a new spirit within us? How does He remove our heart of stone which is rebellious to His law, and place a heart of flesh in there? Is He going to do some type of surgery? We know that He can. Because in Genesis chapter 2 it tells us that He physically took a rib from Adam’s side, sewed him back up and built Eve. But these verse are not discussing a mere physical transformation.

The thing with physical transformations, they are not enough. I’ve met people who were highly attractive physically, but their personalities and characters were so unattractive, it made it a chore to be around them. It’s what’s on the inside, the heart and the mind, that makes up the being. And this is the change that God wants to do, on our hearts and in our minds: “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put My laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,” Hebrews 10:16.

We’ve discussed the law of God at length, but we will never be able to reach its’ depth. The law of God is a beautiful codified promise of His love for us and teaches us how to love Him and our fellow human beings. God is waiting to light up your life with His presence. And the only way He can do so is by creating a new heart in you. Would you like to give Him your battered old one and receive a new one from Him? All we have to do is follow David’s lead and just ask Him. He’s waiting to say, “Yes, I’d love to.”

Day 271

If you could pick one moment from your past that you could go back and redo, what would it be? How far would you go? Would it be from this past decade? Or perhaps a moment in college or high school. What about middle school or even kindergarten. How far is far enough? The choices that we have made, have ultimately created the person that we are today. And while we cannot go back and alter our past, we are fully capable of changing our future.

God saw our future, and He saw how dim and depressing it would be without: The true Light who gives light to every man was coming into the world.” John 1:9. He knew that something had to be done, and He rolled up His sleeves and got into the darkness with us, but did not let it overcome Him: The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5. The darkness that sin brings, is one that has the power to penetrate the deepest recesses of our minds. From the comfort of our own heads, we can think of the most vile and hateful things. Every moment dwelling on them changes our character into a darker more hateful and vile thing. It’s true, what you spend time on you eventually become. The Bible warns about this: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2.

Let’s not pretend the things of this world are not attractive. That it doesn’t have it’s own lights that twinkle in our eye. But those lights fade out while pain and regret fades in. Living a life that is in the will of God being both pleasing and perfect, can only be done if we leave our past behind and embrace the only One who is able to really affect change in our lives. Paul, who is an excellent example of leaving your old life behind, tells us: Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:7.

He didn’t just say these things, he had to believe them. Because Paul was once the ring leader of a murderous cult. If he could not be changed, then what hope was there for him? You might be wondering the same thing: ‘What hope is there for me?’ What’s crazy is that most of the pain that we have caused others, was because others had caused pain to us. And we end up in this sickening cyclic pattern, that weakens our spirits until many people just give up and don’t think that they can be helped. But I have EXCELLENT NEWS!! God wants to start a fresh with you. So much so that He says: Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing;” Isaiah 43:18-19.

He wants to do a NEW THING in your life. One that does not have pain and abuse, suffering and darkness as your foundation. If I could go back to one period in my past, it would be to the moment that my innocence was taken from me. I would tell that little girl that you are beautiful and deserved to loved. I would hide her from the terrible scene that would soon take place, so that she could live life to the fullest. But I can’t go back and save her. I can’t change things. I can’t affect the change that would remove trepidation from every single life decision she has ever made. But I CAN move forward. I CAN choose Christ. I CAN become a new creation, believing that my God is doing a new thing in me. And soon, oh, so very soon: And the One sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then He said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:5.

I CAN contest that He is trustworthy, because He has never failed me. Mankind, yes. Family, yes. Friends, yes. But God? Never. So maybe you can’t change your past, and maybe your present is a hard gift to swallow, but your future can be brighter than the sun. All you have to do is give your heart to Him and believe what He says is trustworthy and true.

Day 160

There are 206 days left of this year, and I am TIRED of this year. But if 2020 is this terrible, I almost shudder at what 2021 will bring. Notice that I said “almost.” The only thing that keeps me from running off a bridge, or burying my head in the sand is the knowledge of the God of the Bible. So let’s talk about Him because I’m tired of crying about the issues of this world, for tonight.

Of the 66 books of the Bible, there are 39 in the Old Testament and 27 in the New Testament. There really shouldn’t be an “Old” and ” New” because they are a continuation of one story. This story of the love of God for a planet and His wayward children, and the plan He placed in motion to save us. God steps in and promises to be the Seed (Genesis 3:15) that will save all of mankind. Isaiah tells of how He will be born (Isaiah 7:14), Micah tells where He will be born (Micah 5:2), and Matthew (1) shows the fulfillment of these promises. So the Old and New Testament continues seamlessly. The chapters and divisions are really there to help us navigate it easier.

The first 5 books of the Bible are called the Pentateuch. These 5 books were written by Moses who had a conversation with God and was the first one to ask God His name. In Exodus 3:14 God answers Moses “I AM THAT I AM.” And the reality is that the name in which God told Moses pretty much sets up the rest of his experience with the children of Israel during their wanderings in the desert. And is the backdrop in which the Bible was written.

When they wandered in the desert God was a pillar of fire in the night and a cloud by day (Exodus 13:21-22). Why would you suppose that God would manifest Himself in those two ways? Let’s first take in context the fact that He declared “I AM THAT I AM” to Moses, and told him to tell the children of Israel that was His name. The Middle Eastern deserts can be brutally and unforgivingly hot during the day. So having a cloud to shield them from the harsh rays of the sun, was probably a luxury that they did not even think about. And at night when the snakes and scorpions come out to play and the temperature drops drastically, the pillar of fire was there to protect and keep them warm.

Another interesting thing in which God mentions in Deuteronomy about Him being I AM THAT I AM to them, had to do with their clothes. I recently had to put aside a pair of pants that I absolutely adore. I have had it for maybe 5 years, but it has worn thin and is full of holes. Listen to what I AM THAT I AM states about the status of the Israelites clothing: And I have led you forty years in the wilderness. Your clothes have not worn out on you, and your sandals have not worn out on your feet.” Deuteronomy 29:5. Did you read that correctly? FORTY YEARS! And thinking about it, it makes perfect sense, because where are they going to run into a Target in the middle of the desert?

Remember when I said that the Bible is really one seamless book with several different divisions to help us navigate better? Well, I was not kidding. Because if He did it for them over 3000 years ago, could He do it today? Is God still I AM THAT I AM? I now He says in the book of Malachi chapter 3 that He is God and He changes not, and in Philippians 4:19 Paul boldly makes this claim: And my God will supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” This God who was so attentive to the needs of what society would consider the “least of these” a bunch of ex-slaves wandering the desert, how attentive do you think He is to you? I won’t keep you guessing: But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than…” Matthew 10:30-31. You can place any object at the end of that sentence. Because of the price He paid for you when you were enslaved to sin. He paid His life, so to Him, you are priceless, because you are the only “you” He’ll ever know and love. So go ahead and call on Him, because if He was willing to give His life for you, there is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING that I AM THAT I AM will not be able to provide for you. Do yourself a favor, and make a list of your blessings. List them one by one and see how He has been taking care of you thus far, and He promises to be with you always, even to the end of the world (Matthew 28:20). And I think, we’re about here.

Day 122

Gary Chapman broke the glass ceiling in emotional communication when he penned the different types of love languages in the ’90s. For almost 30 years his in-depth look at the different aspects of love and how people react to them has been an international bestseller, and with good reason. If you would like to take a look at what your love language is, take the quiz here. I have 2 love languages that score higher than the rest (most people have more than one). Quality Time and Acts of Service are pivotal for me to receive affection in any relationship. When I was a little girl, my parents would make fun of me, because I was always asking my dad to spend “quality time” with the family. At 10 years old I had not read Gary’s book, but I knew what was important to me, and that is quality time. Over 25 years later, it’s still the way into my heart. Now, here’s a caveat, as an introvert, it is very important that you respect my time, and allow me to have adequate alone time. But when we are together (time is HUGE for an introvert to give up), I expect the time to be one filled with quality, meaning you are not on your phone or are being distracted by other things. No, when we spend time together, it’s important enough to you that you do not allow anything, outside of an emergency to distract you. Love languages are so important! But what Mr. Chapman penned down, the Greeks had mastered in the first century. In fact, they too had different dimensions to love, all in their one language. We’ve discussed these in a previous session, all the way back on Day 3. But the four words that were attributed to love in the Greek are eros, storge, philia (phileo), and agape. Today we’re going to take a look at the Bible when love languages got crossed.

This story happens in the book of John. It’s the very last chapter of this gospel. Jesus has walked on earth, He has completed this portion of His ministry. He’s commissioned that they love each other and spread the message of salvation to the entire world. Now He spends a few moments with them prior to leaving them until His second coming. While the disciples gather together eating the breakfast that Jesus had cooked for them (UM, YES!), everyone has one terrible scene that is playing over and over in their mind. This scene is so relentless, it has caused division among them. But Jesus was going to address it because that’s what He does. If there is something uncomfortable in your life that is limiting or stunting your growth in life, He will bring it up.

The scene that had left a bitter taste in everyone’s mouth were the words that came out of Peter’s mouth. During the time when he had the opportunity to stand up for Jesus, to just say that he knew Him, who loved them so much, He died for them, Peter denied ever knowing Jesus. And he did it with such malice and force, that it took the people back who heard the words fly out of his mouth. It was a slew of disgusting cures words that belittled the Savior in the eyes of all who heard Peter’s words of defamation. And what hurt the most, was that Jesus heard them too. Just when Peter had finished his tirade of denial, the cock crowed, and the words of Jesus came rushing back to his memory. He turned just at the right time, and there, Peter saw Jesus. All beat up and bleeding, patches of His beard removed by force. And instead of anger and resentment in the eyes of He who would give His life up for him, Peter saw compassion, pitty, and most of, agape love, and this was his reaction: And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.” Luke 22:61,62.

So Jesus now seeks to restore Peter before the eyes of his fellow brethren, and He will do that by asking Peter a series of questions. In the plain reading they all look like the same question and response “Peter do you love me?” answer “Yes Lord I love you.” But that is not what is going on here. Yes, Jesus does ask Peter 3 times do you love me (one for every denial). But Jesus asks Peter the first two times “Peter do you agape me?” And Peter responses with “Lord I phileo you.” On the final round, Jesus asks Peter, who is churning from pain and grief inside, Peter do you phileo me? And Peter tells Jesus that He knows all things! Of course, he phileos Him! All this happens in John 21:15-17. After each question, Jesus gives Peter a command to feed His sheep, which is a metaphor for those wandering looking for the news that will fill them and give them direction in their life. And in the book of Acts, we find that it is Peter, the foul mouth fisherman is the bold speaking preacher of the gospel. What changed him? Love. It was the unfailing Agape of Christ.

Some 2000 years after that interaction between Jesus and Peter, Jesus is still having the same conversations with us. He asks us if we love Him with an agape (unconditional faithful, relational integrity) love, and too many of us respond to Him like Peter did, “Yes Jesus I love you, but with a phileo love.” Meaning we’re not ready to commit to such a deep level, at least not yet. But Jesus is patient, and He told us in His word that: The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.” Jeremiah 31:3. That word for “lovingkindness” we have discussed before on Day 96. It is the Hebrew equivalent for Agape, Chesed (pronounced hased). And He knows that we are not on His level yet with everlasting love, but how He desires that we get there. So He remains patient with us, as we grow in love with Him, He deepens our desire for His love, His truth, His word. And the only way to increase your love for another is to spend quality time with them. What are you waiting for, He’s ready, are you?

Day 111

I most recently saw a pair of sisters on social media, YouTube to be exact. One of the sisters is going through one of the most terrible diseases known to man, cancer. They are adolescents, and yet at such a young and tender age are facing some of the darkest times, that will undoubtedly weigh them down. The sister who did not have cancer shaved her head for sister in solidarity. And as if that was not beautiful enough, she pulls out a razor and shaves her eyebrows, because her sister feels unattractive due to the lack of her own, because of her treatment. You watch the video here (be careful I needed kleenex). During some of my darkest periods in life, I know that I could not have made it without my own family by my side, and the friends who became family. Having someone on your side and not just cheering you on, but walking alongside you, makes the journey bearable. That’s what Jesus did for us.

We have plenty of examples in the Bible of individuals who continued to be unfaithful to God, even though He was ever faithful to us. We know this because He told us: For I am the Lord, I do not change [but remain faithful to My covenant with you]; that is why you, O sons of Jacob, have not come to an end.” Malachi 3:6. That moment when Adam and Eve sinned and their due consequence was death (Romans 6:23), but they did not die. Why? Well, we’ve seen that Jesus had decided to step in: slain from the foundation of the world.” Revelation 13:8. And so because of His faithfulness towards us, toward His covenant of love they did not come to an end.

Instead, God, Elohim gave us a new beginning in Him. The word of God said: Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].” 2 Corinthians 2:15. We can be made new, because SomeOne looked down and said, “I’ll go through this with you.”

Jesus tries to explain His deepening desire to be with us so much so, that He would rather die than be without us. That’s what this one sentence parable states: Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” Matthew 13:44. Let’s dissect this one sentence that places the heart of the God of the universe on display. Whenever someone finds a treasure in a field, that means that it was probably buried. All covered with dirt and grime. But someOne saw the worth in going through the trouble of claiming, cleaning and caring for this treasure that no one else wanted. And you know what He paid for this “treasure”? Everything. Then you know what He did with it? Shared it with us: For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. Now we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this surpassingly great power is from God and not from us.” 2 Corinthians 4:7,8.

God gave us Jesus as our light out of the darkness of this world, this life, sin. And we can have Him in us by:…focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith…who for the joy [of accomplishing the goal] set before Him endured the cross, disregarding the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God [revealing His deity, His authority, and the completion of His work].” Hebrew 12:2. Do you understand that you were that joy? I will never tire of discussing this topic. That God, the Creator, and sustainer of life, emptied Himself (Philippians 2:7) to fill us with His Spirit, His peace, His Joy; and it cost Him everything, and still He says it was worth every single drop of His blood.

You are the apple of His eye (Zechariah 2:8; Psalm 17:8), He saw weighed the cost and said that if He had to give up everything, that we were worth it. Every tear that we cry, every burden that we carry, every hurtful thing that has ever been done to us, He has been there, step by step. And He desires to fill us with His love so that we can practice covenantal love towards one another. What the video showed us between two sisters is the love of God flourishing under the darkness of cancer and pain. That simple 60-second video embraced covenantal love and will leave lasting impacts on the lives of those two young ladies, and the hundreds of thousands of people who will see their tribute of love. Sure, the hair will grow back, and the baldness will be a thing of the past, but that young lady going through one of the most difficult periods of her life, will never forget the love that her sister showed her, through her sacrifice. And so I call on you, to never forget the sacrifice that Christ did on your behalf, and on mine. Life will be difficult, and tears will be shed, but as you go through those hard days, remember that: And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end… Matthew 28:20.

Day 38

Did you know that we are 10% done with the new year? That means you still have 90% of this year to try new things, meet new people, form new relationships, admit you hurt someone. I’m sure you were not expecting that. But if we have gone through 10% of the new year and it feels like nothing has really changed, then maybe you’re what needs to change, or least stop doing things like they’ve been done. On Day 37 we discussed how dangerous gossip can be, and how the misrepresentation of the character of God led to a world filled with sorrow, pain, disease, and death. But what if you had the power to heal yourself physically, mentally and spiritually from sorrow, pain, and disease? And all you had to do was to say I’m sorry. Even when it’s not your fault…

In Matthew Jesus says an almost incredulous statement: If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” (Mattew 18:15). Jesus was explaining that if you come to the altar to pray and you know that someone has done something to you and this has cause a rift between the two of you, even if you were the party wronged, that you have the obligation to reach out to them. In fact, He says, leave your offering at the altar and go take care of this situation before you come back to pray.

What does it matter? Honestly, think about it? If someone did you wrong, why should you have to be the person to address them? Shouldn’t they know what they did was wrong, and come and “man-up” about it and say sorry? I agree wholeheartedly. But here’s the reality, a lot of times they don’t even know they wronged you. So you hold a grudge for years sometimes decades, and the other party doesn’t even know what you have against them! And do you know what holding grudges do to you? It literally destroys your immune system. It’s a scientific fact. By destroying your immune system, you open yourself to more diseases like cancer and heart disease! Don’t believe me? Check out these articles from reputable medical sources: Piedmont Healthcare, The Journal for the Association for Psychological Science, The Mayo Clinic. What these experts in their field are telling us, is what Jesus had said over 2000 years ago: Let it go. Of course, that’s easier said than done.

A few years ago (about 7 years ago) while I was at the DC airport waiting on a friend of mine who was picking me up, I got a “ding” from Facebook. It was a private message from someone that I had not really spoken to in about a decade. And that in itself was not the surprising factor, it was that we had not spoken in about 11 years on purpose. Even though I was the godmother of his child, we only had conversations out of necessity through text or polite hellos if we ran into each other. But we had not had a genuine conversation since we were teenagers.

He and I, let’s call him Abraham (Abe for short) were inseparable in high school. He was dating one of my best friends and the three of us were a wonderful camaraderie of love and acceptance. I never felt like the third wheel, and they purposefully made sure I was not left out of the friendship. Sadly in this world, all good things come to an end. And what a terrible end it happened to be. When they broke up, I was in the middle of it. Like a child in a divorce. I loved them both (and still do, to this day) and at 18 years old, I was forced to choose, whose side would I take? I took hers. But attempted to stay as neutral as possible. I never told the other party what their ex-significant other was doing. I didn’t want to feed that machine. I was hurt that my two best friends could not fix what had become irrevocably broken.

Believe it or not, Abe and I went to the same college, ended up working at the same hospital, and had the same friends. We couldn’t get out of each other’s lives. And I don’t think I ever wanted to. Fast forward 11 years from our last honest conversation to this “ding” from Facebook. It read something like this: Hey I’ve decided to forgive you and let everything go. The reason why is because while I was at church, the pastor made an appeal and explained that if we had grudges and anger in our hearts that we would not make to heaven. Because Jesus forgave us while we were sinners, and even while He was dying His final breaths were asking forgiveness for those who wronged Him. And at first, I didn’t want to answer the altar call, but I realized that I won’t go to hell for you.”

I was taken aback. WHAT?! This happened 7 years ago and we have never spoken about that remark. So much has happened in the last several years in his life that I missed because of brokeness of our relationship. He got married to an amazing woman, had 2 more kids, which I adore from a distance (I’m not a stalker but we do run into each other every once and a while, and it’s pleasant.) I tried to reach out to him when he first sent me that message, but he said there was no reason to bring it up again. He had forgiven me so let bygones be bygones. But I did not know that I had hurt him so much, and that in turn caused me sorrow. Truth be told, I still don’t know what I did to him, and every once in awhile sadness lingers in my heart when I think of it.

Even though years had gone by, and our lives had changed, I had wronged Abe and violated him in a way that meant I had sinned against him. The question is what is sin? “Every one who is guilty of sin is also guilty of violating Law; for sin is the violation of Law.” (1st John 3:4). Okay, so what is the Law?
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36-40). The Law that governs the Universe according to Jesus, is Love.

James 5:16 states: If you have sinned, you should tell each other what you have done. Then you can pray for one another and be healed. The prayer of an innocent person is powerful, and it can help a lot.” What James’ is saying here, is that if you’ve violated love towards someone you need to talk about it. Because talking about it brings healing. Interestingly enough what type of healing? The Greek word for healing here is iathēte, and this word is only used 2x in all of the New Testament. Once in James, which we just mentioned, another time in one of Peter’s letters: and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. (1st Peter 2:24).

The “healed” portion here is discussing the healing we need from broken hearts and crushed spirits. Luke chapter 4 Jesus quotes from the book of Isaiah to tell everyone what His initial purpose was to come here on this dingy little planet: “The Spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim release to the captives, recovering of sight to the blind, to deliver those who are crushed” (4:18).

Jesus’ mission was to show us the heart of the Father, who loves us more than His own existence, and desires that His children get along and love each other. And sometimes we can get on that path by taking the first step and reach out… We have 90% of the year left to get this right. I’ll start: I’m sorry...

 

 

Day 6

Have you ever asked yourself “How did we get here?” What if I told you the majority of problems in this world can be traced down to one single common denominator: bad relationships. It may seem like an oversimplification of some of the most complicated issues that tear us apart, but give me a minute (or two) to explain.

Adam and Eve doubted God’s love for them and decided to end their covenantal relationship with Him. And I know that I use the singular masculine pronoun to identify God. I do so because it’s the simplest way that I can. You see the very first verse in the Bible identifies God as a family unit, not a singular entity: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” The Hebrew word for God used in this text is actually Elohim. “El” meaning God, “ohim” in combination with el is the plural construct usage. The Hebrews had no problem with this identification. Listen to their call of worship in Deuteronomy 6:4: Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is One.” In John 10:30 Jesus told His disciples that: I and my Father are one.” One in purpose, unified in everything. When God created the husband/wife team He also attributed “oneness” to them: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24); “In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made He him; Male and female created He them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.” Genesis 5:1,2.

When God created man in His image, He created mankind to experience covenantal love and be unified in purpose, not in physical identity. That broken oneness within themselves leads to a planet of broken people. Seven thousand years later, what really has changed? The first murder took place over a disagreement on how God should be worshipped. God asked for a specific sacrifice, one obeyed and the other did not. When God blessed the obedient one, his brother killed him and violated the covenant. We have wars breakout because of broken agreements made by broken people. Families are hurting and falling apart because the covenant keeps getting broken. We get violated and then, in turn, violate others, it’s a sick cycle. Many times, because we do what we know. And although we long for love and intimacy, we settle for lust and superficial connections. Why, because we’re afraid of rejection, afraid of getting hurt.

The Bible says: we love because He first loved us” (1st John 4:19). We needed God to break through and pull us close in order to understand love. And He did so through Jesus: For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And He gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation” (2nd Corinthians 5:19). Isn’t that beautiful?! God wants to make amends, He’s tired of broken relationships and tattered hearts. Our sins have separated us from Him (Isaiah 59:2) and He’s looking for a way to connect to us. Sin separates, so He needs to find the antithesis of sin, which is agape love. And so because of His love for us, if we’re willing He will remove our transgressions, our sins, our shame from us: As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us” (Ps. 103:12). We’ve wronged Him and yet He says: I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again (Isaiah 43:25).

Now that may seem unbelievable that someone would forget your mistakes and wrongdoings. I read that verse over a dozen times and could not believe it. Even if I forgave someone, I still recalled what they did to me! And honestly, that affected our relationship. I really could not trust them anymore, at least that was my mindset until I was covered by grace and love. It happened when I was forgiven of something that I had done, and the one that I had offended did not recall what I did:

It was 20 years ago, I was a teenager on Christmas Eve, driving my parents’ van. They had just paid it off and to celebrate they had changed the color of their Mazda MVP. I won’t describe the accident, but I will tell you that I totaled their van. And I was so scared. When I borrowed someone’s cell phone to call my dad, I was shaking. I told him that I had been in an accident with my mom. I told him that I was sorry, and before I could explain he asked me one thing: Are you and your mother okay?” I told him that we were a bit shaken up, but we were fine. He said he was on his way.

My dad picked us up and took us home. He never yelled at me or asked me what I was thinking. In fact, he never brought it up again. About 5 or so years ago, I was talking to a group of people about the stupid mistakes teenagers make when they think that they are invincible. I told them about the Mazda minivan and asked my father (because he was there during the conversation) “Pappy, do you remember what I did to the Mazda!” My dad had a blank look on his face: What Mazda? The only Mazda we have is Sade (*SIDEBAR: I purchased a crossover Mazda 7 passenger and called her Sade because she is a “smooth operator”*). I then spent the next 5 minutes arguing with my dad about the minivan that I had destroyed on Christmas Eve in 2000. Finally, a light went off, and he was like, “Yeah, maybe we did have one.” I was exacerbated, “WHAT!” I literally crashed and totaled your van! We decided to agree to disagree.

A few years later, my dad found an old polaroid of that minivan (image inserted above). He called me to tell me that I was right, and He is keeping the picture to remind him of the grace God had in saving my mother and I.

That’s when it hit me: my dad was not keeping a list of wrongs that I had done. He honestly did not commit them to memory. If my dad loved me enough to erase the stupid things that I had done, could God love me like that? When He says that He remembers my sins no more and that He really forgives me, He means it. And when you fester on the mistakes that you have made, and they eat away at you, that’s not God. That’s the enemy. If you tell God that you’re sorry, He believes you and forgives you: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1st John 1:9). God doesn’t see us in guilt and shame. He sees us as broken and lost loved ones who need Him.

We may have gotten here because of broken relationships, but God is all about repairing them, and putting us back together; because He first loved us…